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#26 2010-07-13 14:17:34

Clive
Member
$0

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

Stealing_Mirrors wrote:

The best part:


EPIC FAIL

Double Fail!


#27 2010-07-13 14:18:50

Clive
Member
$0

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

Stealing_Mirrors wrote:

You aren't buying the house?  WTF?

I can, we can use your $100k for team building retreats

#28 2010-07-13 14:19:33

Stealing_Mirrors
Roaring, "SSTTOOOPPPP!!!!"
$73262

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

Zathrus wrote:

I never quite got why building an internet company required them to all leave their girlfriends and move in together.

And live in a huge house.  When I started my company my office was literally 8 x 8 with a small 30 year old metal desk with a missing leg.  After 10 years I finally remodeled.  No wonder these morons fail.  They are obviously putting the reward before the work.  Just like their little vacation after a weeks worth of work.

#29 2010-07-13 14:20:26

Stealing_Mirrors
Roaring, "SSTTOOOPPPP!!!!"
$73262

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

Heekee wrote:

I can, we can use your $100k for team building retreats

I don't want to go zip lining though.  I hear 69% of the people who even think about it die. 

#30 2010-07-13 14:22:40

FUCK THAT
Pooomp Wrangler
$101422

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

Heekee wrote:

Unchain'd is just a concept at this point, we thought it would be cool to have our own reality show with CIers all living together

FUCK THAT.  PLUGGY SMELLS LIKE WET FUR!   . . . AND BOOT DEM BETAS OFF DEH ISLAND.  STAT.   

#31 2010-07-13 14:26:46

Stealing_Mirrors
Roaring, "SSTTOOOPPPP!!!!"
$73262

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

Maybe kilosepp would loan us his Malibu beach house?

#32 2010-07-13 14:42:15

Zathrus
.
$45924

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

Stealing_Mirrors wrote:

Maybe kilosepp would loan us his Malibu beach house?

Virtual world.

http://www.opencobalt.org/

#33 2010-07-13 15:03:43

.

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

UNSTRAPP’D # Whatever.

Dissolve into an ongoing interview with John Stippick, Chief Operating Officer.  He’s very “douchebag coastal” with a white shirt with patterns and a guitar on a stand in the background.  He’s unshaven with oiled hair, a style that looked very edgy on Sonny Crocket, but now looks like he’s the boom grip on Jersey Shore.

JS: How I joined social spin was an introduction through my cousin , they suggested that I call these group of guys who were really hot up and comers, well actually they said they were “social media gurus” and I was really looking to get into social media and I picked up the phone…boring story about how JS already lived in San Clemente, another stupid story about the business world is hungry for social media because NO ONE CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO TWITTER!  Fucking Facebook! How does it work? Everyone in business is retarded. 

Jump cuts driving through Long Beach set to a rhythm track. A short bus pulls up outside the Westin.  Out falls John Stippick (dressed in a Charley Harper shirt), Brad Will (wearing a blue “scammer” shirt ala Casey), Chris Record (dressed like Johnny Cash), and that other fuck who I can never remember.
JS: Lets review our gameplan… Chris Record is giving a speech and is part of a panel, Brad Will will scout out venture capital, joint venture partnerships and make great local connections in Los Angeles (is this code for sucking dick in bathrooms?), Gabe Strom get out the message about the show (oh yes, THAT will attract venture capital ).  They register. The conference seems to be called “Prosper Now”.  There is probably a lot of bathroom dick sucking. Soundtrack is now a lone strumming guitar.  The fact that I am noticing the background music and sounds so much means that the sound editing and levels are double plus ungood.  KYLE! FIX THAT SHIT!

Cut back to the opening interview, the crappy guitar provides continuity.  Shtupprick explains what a COO does.  Is it on the whiteboard or does he have this memorized?   It must be “memorized” because he mangles it.: “So what that means is that all operations, whether it’s sales or it’s marketing, or it’s customer service, I get the opportunity to just watch and help oversee the strategic positions that are made day to day to make sure we’re fulfilling on our commitments.”  Anyone who wants to diagram that sentence is welcome to go to have a go.  At first glance he understands neither prepositions, conditional tenses, the second person, nor the possessive case.  But I only went to college.  I lack street smarts.

Cut back to douchebags in action at the hotel. Schtuprick listens as some 20 something guy says he doesn’t have the skill set to write a blog. WTF?  Gabe Strom describes the business as “done for you” marketing pieces. Chris Record says to ask the organizers who the movers and shakers are at the conference and then ask for an introduction or go introduce yourself.  You owe him $10,000.  WTF is with the music? It’s now some faggy xylophone cha-cha-cha music that I’d associate with beginner’s ballet or an interlude on Fernwood 2night.  Strangely appropriate. Record talks to an old guy “Brent Ragan” who doesn’t know how twitter works. HEY BRENT: YOU’LL BE REALLY HAPPY THAT THEY SHOWED YOUR BADGE ON THE VIDEO! Trust me on this point. Chris Record uses “digital business cards” meaning that he spams you within seconds of getting your card.  He then rubs salt on the wound by giving you an UNSTRAPP’D promo card.  He advises you to spam new acquaintances too.  You owe him another 10 grand.  The funny part is Brent seems really disappointed to get a fucking email. Listen around 4:10-4:16 or so.  I think the reality is that a quality business card is just another sign that you are willing to invest in your business.  People actually notice things like stock and weight, and the printing quality, or rather they notice when it’s cheap.  An email says “I don’t know if I’m going to be in business next week so I didn’t want to buy a whole box”.  More douchebaggery.

Cut back to Sonny Crockett’s older guido cousin’s interview:  Fred Axelrod is the organizer. Bullshit about the panel, and cut to Record fellating a microphone in a dark room.  The jump cuts during John “Guido Harper” interview are really fucking annoying.  Sombody ought to teach Kyle how to dissolve.  Chris Record bleats for a while. Scammy stuff, but it has a bit of polish “Wisdom comes from two places, mistakes and mentors”. He ruins it by asking “does that resonate with anyone?” It’s like asking an audience to give themselves a round of applause. Oh fuck here’s the dissolve into Guido Harper “surrounded” by people as he explains crap.  It’s ruined by Brad Will sitting right over his left shoulder.  We see this scene from various angles.  The “crowd” turns out to be three people other than SMA principles.  I think I recognize one of the other ladies from the beginning of the video, an old friend from scaminars, not a customer.  That leaves two people we don’t know.  They sound amazed by this “blog” thing”.  As we dissolve away we see two TOTALLY DIFFERENT WOMEN SITTING THERE!!!11!! Man they must have been crushed by people wanting to hear about this facetwatblog thing that the kids are into. We are now in the parking lot in the deepening twilight. What a fantastic conference! They probably booked a hojillion dollars of free twatblogs! Fade out.

Fade in the next morning in the mantion. Kyle is surfing for gay porn or something. He talks to himself “are they serious?” He must have seen the size of the dildo in Animeboi’s hand. “Hey Gabe have you seen this?” yup it’s the dildo pic. Oh fuck it’s just someone who has “literally duplicated” their business model. “They’ve ripped us off”.  Record jumps in “It’s an exact duplicate of freeblogfactory, look here’s Step 1, Step 2, Step3”. FUCK! Someone has figured out how to rip people off in three steps! THAT”S THEIR BUSINESS MODEL!  Who cares. Did they see the dildo pics?

#34 2010-07-13 15:41:24

.

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

AnimeBoi wrote:

"They ripped us off"

Hey, if the other site's blogs actually work, maybe you better buy into them!

#35 2010-07-13 15:42:14

.

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

Hey guess what!?!?  Brent Ragan is another internet marketing phenomenon!  He advises doing what you love, so he must love taking shits on the internet, because that what this site resembles.

http://brentragan.net/

#36 2010-07-13 15:44:31

Stealing_Mirrors
Roaring, "SSTTOOOPPPP!!!!"
$73262

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

wrote:

Hey guess what!?!?  Brent Ragan is another internet marketing phenomenon!  He advises doing what you love, so he must love taking shits on the internet, because that what this site resembles.

http://brentragan.net/

AH! MY EYES!

#37 2010-07-13 15:52:20

.

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

Zathrus wrote:

I never quite got why building an internet company required them to all leave their girlfriends and move in together.

Patience, young padawan.


The spa-day, ex-foliation/ chest-hair-shaving episode is next week.

#38 2010-07-13 15:52:30

.

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

wrote:

UNSTRAPP’D # Whatever.

Dissolve into an ongoing interview with John Stippick, Chief Operating Officer.  He’s very “douchebag coastal” with a white shirt with patterns and a guitar on a stand in the background.  He’s unshaven with oiled hair, a style that looked very edgy on Sonny Crocket, but now looks like he’s the boom grip on Jersey Shore.

JS: How I joined social spin was an introduction through my cousin , they suggested that I call these group of guys who were really hot up and comers, well actually they said they were “social media gurus” and I was really looking to get into social media and I picked up the phone…boring story about how JS already lived in San Clemente, another stupid story about the business world is hungry for social media because NO ONE CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO TWITTER!  Fucking Facebook! How does it work? Everyone in business is retarded. 

Jump cuts driving through Long Beach set to a rhythm track. A short bus pulls up outside the Westin.  Out falls John Stippick (dressed in a Charley Harper shirt), Brad Will (wearing a blue “scammer” shirt ala Casey), Chris Record (dressed like Johnny Cash), and that other fuck who I can never remember.
JS: Lets review our gameplan… Chris Record is giving a speech and is part of a panel, Brad Will will scout out venture capital, joint venture partnerships and make great local connections in Los Angeles (is this code for sucking dick in bathrooms?), Gabe Strom get out the message about the show (oh yes, THAT will attract venture capital ).  They register. The conference seems to be called “Prosper Now”.  There is probably a lot of bathroom dick sucking. Soundtrack is now a lone strumming guitar.  The fact that I am noticing the background music and sounds so much means that the sound editing and levels are double plus ungood.  KYLE! FIX THAT SHIT!

Cut back to the opening interview, the crappy guitar provides continuity.  Shtupprick explains what a COO does.  Is it on the whiteboard or does he have this memorized?   It must be “memorized” because he mangles it.: “So what that means is that all operations, whether it’s sales or it’s marketing, or it’s customer service, I get the opportunity to just watch and help oversee the strategic positions that are made day to day to make sure we’re fulfilling on our commitments.”  Anyone who wants to diagram that sentence is welcome to go to have a go.  At first glance he understands neither prepositions, conditional tenses, the second person, nor the possessive case.  But I only went to college.  I lack street smarts.

Cut back to douchebags in action at the hotel. Schtuprick listens as some 20 something guy says he doesn’t have the skill set to write a blog. WTF?  Gabe Strom describes the business as “done for you” marketing pieces. Chris Record says to ask the organizers who the movers and shakers are at the conference and then ask for an introduction or go introduce yourself.  You owe him $10,000.  WTF is with the music? It’s now some faggy xylophone cha-cha-cha music that I’d associate with beginner’s ballet or an interlude on Fernwood 2night.  Strangely appropriate. Record talks to an old guy “Brent Ragan” who doesn’t know how twitter works. HEY BRENT: YOU’LL BE REALLY HAPPY THAT THEY SHOWED YOUR BADGE ON THE VIDEO! Trust me on this point. Chris Record uses “digital business cards” meaning that he spams you within seconds of getting your card.  He then rubs salt on the wound by giving you an UNSTRAPP’D promo card.  He advises you to spam new acquaintances too.  You owe him another 10 grand.  The funny part is Brent seems really disappointed to get a fucking email. Listen around 4:10-4:16 or so.  I think the reality is that a quality business card is just another sign that you are willing to invest in your business.  People actually notice things like stock and weight, and the printing quality, or rather they notice when it’s cheap.  An email says “I don’t know if I’m going to be in business next week so I didn’t want to buy a whole box”.  More douchebaggery.

Cut back to Sonny Crockett’s older guido cousin’s interview:  Fred Axelrod is the organizer. Bullshit about the panel, and cut to Record fellating a microphone in a dark room.  The jump cuts during John “Guido Harper” interview are really fucking annoying.  Sombody ought to teach Kyle how to dissolve.  Chris Record bleats for a while. Scammy stuff, but it has a bit of polish “Wisdom comes from two places, mistakes and mentors”. He ruins it by asking “does that resonate with anyone?” It’s like asking an audience to give themselves a round of applause. Oh fuck here’s the dissolve into Guido Harper “surrounded” by people as he explains crap.  It’s ruined by Brad Will sitting right over his left shoulder.  We see this scene from various angles.  The “crowd” turns out to be three people other than SMA principles.  I think I recognize one of the other ladies from the beginning of the video, an old friend from scaminars, not a customer.  That leaves two people we don’t know.  They sound amazed by this “blog” thing”.  As we dissolve away we see two TOTALLY DIFFERENT WOMEN SITTING THERE!!!11!! Man they must have been crushed by people wanting to hear about this facetwatblog thing that the kids are into. We are now in the parking lot in the deepening twilight. What a fantastic conference! They probably booked a hojillion dollars of free twatblogs! Fade out.

Fade in the next morning in the mantion. Kyle is surfing for gay porn or something. He talks to himself “are they serious?” He must have seen the size of the dildo in Animeboi’s hand. “Hey Gabe have you seen this?” yup it’s the dildo pic. Oh fuck it’s just someone who has “literally duplicated” their business model. “They’ve ripped us off”.  Record jumps in “It’s an exact duplicate of freeblogfactory, look here’s Step 1, Step 2, Step3”. FUCK! Someone has figured out how to rip people off in three steps! THAT”S THEIR BUSINESS MODEL!  Who cares. Did they see the dildo pics?

  brilliant!

#39 2010-07-13 16:05:54

.

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

wrote:

[snip top-notch observation, snark, and commentary]

“Wisdom comes from two places, mistakes and mentors”.

1) Thanks for the overview. Awesome.

2) Chris and fellow tards would do well to note not only your own fine work, but the rest of the collective parody, photoshoppery, satire, and generally insightful comment, that is being generated for FREE, just to entertain ourselves. Now think about that -- the shit we throw away for a couple of lulz beats the ever lovin' dog fuck out of the best efforts these eight shitheads can put together even while physically camped out together in a plush manshun. If I found that to be true about my chosen field -- that a couple of anon dots could run circles around it, while eating cheetos and watching Judge Wapner, then I would seriously reconsider both my career choice, as well as my own fitness for it.

3) This shit about "Mistakes and Mentors" -- of course it resonates with a room full of Casey-like Zombies who couldn't THINK their way out of a paper bag!!!!! Jeebus. The way to wisdom and enlightenment for REAL humans often involves observation, research, practice, formal schooling, comparing results against objective standards, critical analysis, etc.
This Failing Forward then finding some magical Mentor is total crap.  I think the drivers that make that pair the cornerstones for these idiots is:

* Failing Forward --- these are failures, by definition. No job, no college, no skills, no normal friends, so the idea that their failure is somehow a sign of their specialness and indeed great worth, becomes like fucking catnip to them, and so they pick from the great universal pile of quotations only those that involve failure, i.e. "I didn't have 99 failures; I eliminated 99 ways that won't work" even though as a way of life, such an approach if institutionalized and made normal, would be death to modern society! We can't afford a civil engineer who has to build 99 bridges every time to get one right. We need engineers and others who know how to use reason, intellect, a body of prior knowledge, to largely AVOID mistakes in the first place.

* Mentors -- Plain and simple -- these losers probably did not get the love they needed at home, so the idea of this mentor, taking special care of just them, and nurturing them, is again, irresistible to these fuckers. How about standing on your own two feet, fuckers?

#40 2010-07-13 16:10:06

Stealing_Mirrors
Roaring, "SSTTOOOPPPP!!!!"
$73262

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

One question, why is Casey not involved with these guys?

He knows all of the buzz words, likes to "Network," and spends hours upon hours documenting himself doing nothing.  He would be perfect.

#41 2010-07-13 16:10:50

.

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

wrote:

* Mentors -- Plain and simple -- these losers probably did not get the love they needed at home, so the idea of this mentor, taking special care of just them, and nurturing them, is again, irresistible to these fuckers. How about standing on your own two feet, fuckers?

THAT is what I think of with Casey. But it's not like his Dad was a cold hearted meanie who didn't love him. But whatever caused it, it's like they have this LOVE ME DADDY thing going on. It's weird.

#42 2010-07-13 16:11:55

.

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

Stealing_Mirrors wrote:

One question, why is Casey not involved with these guys?

He knows all of the buzz words, likes to "Network," and spends hours upon hours documenting himself doing nothing.  He would be perfect.

Casey has too much fail associated with him, even for these scammers. Casey is also broke, which makes him a less than desirable mark.

#43 2010-07-13 16:12:31

.

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

anybody have a link to the unchain'd page?

#44 2010-07-13 16:14:00

.

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

From Regan:

* It’s NOT just any one thing.
    * It’s NOT just about Keywords
    * It’s NOT just about Blogging
    * It’s NOT just about Videos
    * It’s NOT just about Social Media – Facebook, Twitter, YouTube
    * It’s NOT just about SEO (Search Engine Optimization)
    * It’s NOT just about Back Links
    * It’s NOT just about Massive Traffic
    * It’s NOT just about Sales Letters
    * It’s NOT just about List Building

The Iduplicate Membership includes a comprehensive mix of training in over 24 Key Topic Areas designed to give our members a complete understanding of the fundamentals of marketing.

“Iduplicate is your source for mastering the fundamentals.”

More 'fake it 'til you make it', and "I've got the secret and I'll sell it to you" and "mentor gooroo" bullshit.


(Fair Disclosure -- I *would* gladly place my penile protuberance into any orifice that fair 'Lynn Rose' (photo in article) wished to make available for that use.)




http://iduplicate.com/

#45 2010-07-13 16:14:27

Stealing_Mirrors
Roaring, "SSTTOOOPPPP!!!!"
$73262

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

wrote:

Casey has too much fail associated with him, even for these scammers. Casey is also broke, which makes him a less than desirable mark.

Too much fail?  For these yahoos? 

#46 2010-07-13 16:16:25

.

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

Stealing_Mirrors wrote:

Too much fail?  For these yahoos? 

I know

#47 2010-07-13 16:17:01

Stealing_Mirrors
Roaring, "SSTTOOOPPPP!!!!"
$73262

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

wrote:

From Regan:


More 'fake it 'til you make it', and "I've got the secret and I'll sell it to you" and "mentor gooroo" bullshit.


(Fair Disclosure -- I *would* gladly place my penile protuberance into any orifice that fair 'Lynn Rose' (photo in article) wished to make available for that use.)




http://iduplicate.com/

Who are those assholes?  Isn't Marty the jackass who paid 50k for iaff?

#48 2010-07-13 16:20:03

.

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

wrote:

From Regan:


More 'fake it 'til you make it', and "I've got the secret and I'll sell it to you" and "mentor gooroo" bullshit.


(Fair Disclosure -- I *would* gladly place my penile protuberance into any orifice that fair 'Lynn Rose' (photo in article) wished to make available for that use.)




http://iduplicate.com/

oh dear god that page is full of douchiness. disturbing.

#49 2010-07-13 16:21:24

Stealing_Mirrors
Roaring, "SSTTOOOPPPP!!!!"
$73262

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

wrote:

oh dear god that page is full of douchiness. disturbing.

For web 2.0 gurus, do they not realize that most people don't like to read 20 continuous pages of crap?  Link to another page mother fucker

#50 2010-07-13 16:21:39

AnimeBoi
HATES RACISTS AND WHITE PEOPLE
$32720

Re: New UNSTRAPP'D "Prosper in Long Beach" has -=>DROPP'D<=-

http://lynnrose.com/

I'll take some "hands on mastery training" from her anytime.

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